


Thoughts go round and around in my head

by gnoust



Series: movie night [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib is an idiot, Fingering, M/M, Miscommunication, Top Zim (Invader Zim), Trans Dib (Invader Zim), Vaginal Sex, over thinking, this bad boy can fit so much over thinking in it, this was was just going to be pure porn but it now has plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnoust/pseuds/gnoust
Summary: Dib and Zim started dating after previous events, unfortunately Dib starts to think their relationship isn't as solid as he hopes.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: movie night [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015915
Comments: 20
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey folks! if you havent read part one i recommend reading the first installment in this short 2 part series! 
> 
> once again there was no beta reader or editor besides me, so please forgive mistakes if you catch them!

It’s been 2 months since Zim and Dib started dating. If Dib could really call it dating.  
Dib was so painfully awkward about the whole ordeal. But how could he not be? He was currently in a romantic relationship with the same alien who's tried to kill him (and he's tried to kill) since the age of 12.

Dib could feel himself jump out of his skin everytime Zim touched him, even in a casual way. He had no idea how to deal with the positive physical attention. 

When the two of them went grocery shopping a week prior Zim had come up from behind him lightly touching his waist as Dib inspected a jar of olives. Needless to say Dib was very apologetic to the employee who reeked like vinegar as they cleaned the mess. 

Since the first night that Zim practically kidnapped him and they made out, they have not gone any further. They continued their movie night ritual and instead of a distance between them they often held each other on the couch with limbs intertwined. Dib honestly couldn't be happier. Being able to be this close to Zim without leaving with an injury like he used to when they fought was like a dream.

But he wants more so badly. Unfortunately he has no idea how comfortable the Irken was with sex. Let alone sex with a human. And Dib was not courageous enough to ask.

On more than one occasion after a make out session Dib walked home in an awkward waddle. He felt like such a stupid horny teen jizzing in his pants from only making out. But he genuinely could not help it. Each time Dib had to “deal with himself” when he got home. Making sure to lock all the doors and black out the windows. 

He really can’t calm down or feel natural. He was always on edge around Zim. A part of him thinks that what if this was an extremely long cruel joke? 

“We’ve been enemies since we were kids….” Dib says out loud He's had this conversation with himself countless times before. “What if he’s just doing this to play with me?” Dib paced around his room. “Playing the long con. It's all just some elaborate game to him!" He feels himself becoming a bit frantic. The scenario of Zim laughing at him plays in his head like an Imax movie where Zim finally reveals this was all part of some world ending plan. Beginning with tearing Dib’s heart out. Emotionally than physically of course. 

As these play through his mind he remembers the intensity in Zim’s eyes when they lay on the couch together. There is no way that Zim could be so focused if he didn’t feel the same way about me. Right? Dib thought as his mind raced.

Dib starts to feel sick. This cycle of over analyzing their relationship sucked so bad.

\--

Dib yawns as he makes his way over to Zim’s house. He couldn't have slept more than 2 hours the night prior. As much as he really liked going over he wasn’t in the right state of mind. All he has to do is text Zim saying he wasn’t feeling well and he can go home.  
He stands at the fence and feels a wash of guilt fill him as he stares at the door. Pulling his phone from his pocket he's surprised to see a message. Well, to be correct there are 7:

“357ro6foi DFGH-u77” 

“Tyuo” 

“Bagel p izaa aaaaaa” 

“4” 

“Eheheheheheheheeheheheheheheheeheehh AAAHHHHHHHHH”

“DISREGARD THESE MESSAGES DIB-STINK. Gir seems to have gotten a hold of Zim’s phone.” 

“See you at my base extremely SOON”

Ah Shit, Dib let out a small chuckle. Tucking his phone away, he walks to the front door. The gnomes have long since stopped reacting to his presence which was a relief. 

Mid second knock the door flew open and Dib was face to face with a very familiar green alien. 

“Uhh.” Dib was genuinely expecting Gir to get the door. “Hey Zim.” All Dib could think of is how awkward he feels right now.

Zim just looks at him and gives his classic scowl. “Took your stupid human legs long enough to get here.” 

“Ya well, I didn’t want to waste the gas driving aaaalll the way here” He says jokingly trying to cut the tension he felt he was creating. Not wanting to stand in the doorway, he walks around Zim. Immediately Dib thinks he just made a mistake. Did it just look like he was avoiding Zim? Did he even notice? 

He shuffles to the couch as fast as he can throwing off his jacket as he does. Sitting crossed legged next to Gir who sat in the middle as he happily put something in his mouth. 

“Yes well you are here now so it does not matter.” Zim says with an air of fondness in his voice seemingly not noticing Dib’s slight distress. 

But Dib wasn't paying attention anymore. He was biting his nails again. Zim made a mental note of this. 

“Is-” Zim started. “Is the Dib-human okay.” He was cautious asking this. Talking about feelings wasn’t something Zim was very well versed in. 

“Hm?” Dib looks up from his now slightly mangled nail polish to see Zim looking at him. “Oh! Ya uh sorry Zim, I just haven't been feeling the greatest. We probably shouldn't cuddle or anything tonight.” Zim cocks an eyebrow at this statement. “In case I'm sick. I don’t want you catching anything.” He quickly adds. An obvious lie but as smart as Zim is, he’s a moron so Dib hopes this slips by. 

Zim gave a face that Dib can almost read as disappointment. “I understand! Good of you to consider Zim’s health before your need for physical contact!” He says as he plops himself down on the other side of the couch. “The Dib-beast can be so-” Zim makes some kind of flicking hand gesture. “Clingy!” 

“Well we are dating. Aren't we?” Dib says under his breath in an almost accusatory manner. But Zim wasn't listening. Dib lets it be.

The distance as the night went on was a familiar one and Zim did not like it. It was too big, too empty. Dib had wormed his way so close to him that it was odd to see him so far, despite it being only 3 feet. But Zim didn’t say anything about it. If Dib was indeed sick, it was best to keep a physical distance.

The movie plays but no one except for Gir is paying any attention. Dib feels himself zoning out. His attention span is nonexistent. He wasn't taking in any of his surroundings and it felt foggy in all directions. Dib doesn’t even notice when Zim is standing in front of him.

“What?” Dib manages to say as he's yanked out of his haze. 

“I SAID It’s peppermint tea.” He grabs one of Dibs hands and places a mug in it. “I read on the internet that it’s good for humans when they are feeling sick.” 

“Oh.” A small smile creeps up on Dib’s face but it quickly disappears. “Thank you Zim.” Dib takes a sip of the hot tea. Wondering when Zim had gotten up from the couch and let alone did that research. The tea is good and is exactly how he usually takes it, He thinks.

The rest of the night ends peacefully. Dib was extremely relieved that Gir behaved. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with the manic toddler of a robot. Zim also kept to himself. He didn’t say much as Dib slipped on his jacket as he got ready to leave.

“Soooo.” Dib says in the most awkward way possible. “I'll see you later Zim.” He forces a smile. It almost resembles one you would give to a stranger to be polite as you passed them in the street.

As he turns around Dib feels himself be yanked down. Without hesitation Zim plants a kiss on Dib's forehead. 

“Feel better.” Was all he heard before Dib found himself out on the porch in the cold of the night. He takes the long way home. 

— 

It was dark and quiet in the house when Dib got home at 2am. He hadn't realized how far he had walked until he no longer recognized the street he was on. 

When he reached his room he started to pace again. He felt so stupid. “Why can't I just talk to Zim? Why did I have to ruin an otherwise good night with my over thinking. Zim even kissed me on the forehead! Was that genuine? Or was it forced?” Dib was horrible at reading people and he was even worse at reading Zim. “Hey Zim, you love me right? And this isn’t just some ploy to make me let my guard down so you can stab me in the heart and hurt me harder than you ever have before. Right?” Dib feels even worse as he says this.

But as he sat on his bed, Dib started to believe a part of what he was telling himself. Zim had never even said he liked Dib. At least not explicitly. He was fully aware that 2 months is nothing compared to the life of a relationship. But he has nothing to compare experiences to. 

They did however have a 10 year history together. So was he expecting more? Of course he didn’t think they would ever be a heavy PDA couple who make out in shopping store lines professing their love for eachother. But Dib just wanted words to be said. Unfortunately, he was bad at expressing his feelings and Zim seemed even worse at it.

The next morning he woke up feeling worse than he had in awhile. Nausea at 11am was never fun. Rolling over he reaches to his night stand for his phone. Zim had sent him a message sometime earlier that morning.

"Stinky come over Zim needs you to observe Gir briefly" The text read.

Dib looks over the message but could only muster the guts to reply 30 minutes later. 

"Sorry, looks like I am sick :( best to stay away" Dib’s thumb hovers over the send button before sending the text.

Dib feels guilty, but he wasn't technically lying. He watched as 3 little balls on his screen danced around indicating that Zim was typing. They bounced for what felt like 5 minutes before they disappeared and all that was sent was "k". Dib tosses his phone into his bed sheets getting horribly lost in its mess. 

Did Zim understand just how harsh sending just a k sounds?. “Maybe he knows I’m avoiding him. Maybe he hates me.” Dib says under his breath on repeat as he walks down the stairs.

Dib now sat at the kitchen table mindlessly eating whatever bland cereal was in the cabinet.He wasn't paying much attention so the cereal started to absorb the milk and turn soggy.

"You know," Gaz had been watching the sad form of her brother sit slumped over almost crying into his cereal for long enough. "If you're having troubles, you can talk to me." 

"Everything's fine Gaz." He shoved a spoonful of mush into his mouth. It didn't taste like anything and the idea of swallowing it made him want to puke.

She looked at her brother unconvinced. "Are you sure about that?"

Dib let out a heavy sigh and put his spoon down. "Yes. I am." He loved his sister but he didn't like talking to her about his personal issues. 

"Okay because I absolutely don't believe you Dib. You've been moping around the house all morning and it's driving me crazy. What's wrong? Did you and Zim break up already?" She said the last part as a half joke.

When Dib didn't answer her right away she grew concerned. "No. Absolutely no way. What happened?? Weren't you absolutely crazy for him!?" 

"Gaz stop! Its-" Dib tried to figure out what to say. "It's not like that. We didn't break up. At least, not yet. I'm not sure." 

"Dude what's wrong." It had been a while since Dib had seen his sister so genuinely concerned for him.

Dib put his head in his hands. "It's complicated." Gaz doesn't say anything as she waits for Dib to continue. "I-" Dib started to eat away at his inner lip. "I'm starting to think this was a mistake. I'm happy with Zim. I am! I'm happy to just be in a room with him where we don't try to kill each other. But, a part of me thinks I shouldn't be allowed to be. Happy that is." He looks up to Gaz for any sort of reaction. All she does is continue to watch.  
"If Zim left me I don't know what I would do. I don't think I could deal with that rejection. It would hurt so much I don’t think I could handle it." Dib found himself rambling. "So wouldn't it just be better if I broke it off now? Before the inevitable happened? If I broke this off now and tell him it's all a mistake and-" Dib stops. He looks down at his gross cereal. It’s soggy, wet, sad and disgusting. Similar to himself he thought.

"I don't want to leave him...but I can’t stop the thoughts that think that I should. That I'm not good enough for him. I'm just some gross useless human anyway. Or maybe this is all just fake and he doesn’t-" He cuts himself off before finishing the sentence. He had rambled enough.

Gaz walked over and placed a hand on her brother's shoulder. "Dib." The sincerity in her voice surprises him. "You and Zim have been fighting for each other's attention for 10 years. You really think he's about to ever let you go?" 

Dib grumbles into his hands. "I know I know I know! I just! Gaz I don't know. I like him so much I don't know what to do with myself." 

"Have you told him that?" 

"....no."

"Well why the hell not?!" 

"I don't know! I told you it's complicated!"

Gaz looks at her brother absolutely flabbergasted that she is related to this stupid man. "Tell him." She walks away.

"Ya well!" He calls after her, but she's left the kitchen. "I-I don't know how." 

-

Dib continues his sick ruse the rest of the week locking himself in his room the entire time. Gaz made a point of telling him if he ends up glued to a chair (again) she won't be helping him.

Zim had called him throughout the week to check in. But Dib wished he hadn't. He felt so guilty because he was doing it again. The second he felt overwhelmed with emotion, he shut everyone out and ran away. This time was the most extreme. Dib knows how this can be solved, but he can’t bring himself to broach the subject. He feels like such a coward. 

Dib doesn’t really want to leave it this way. He wants nothing more than to be with Zim. He wants nothing more than to run over to Zim's house right this second. To tell him how much he cares for and loves him. He felt his heart physically ache at the thought.

But that was scary. There was so much uncertainty in doing that. So he doesn't.


	2. Chapter 2

By Wednesday the following week, Dib had had enough of being locked in his room. He usually was pretty damn great at shutting himself in, but this was too much. He couldn't focus on anything other than Zim. Mind continuing to race all hours of the day. 

He needed something to do. He needed a place to be.

He had been trolling the paranormal forums earlier and saw that there might be a few sightings of a small, hairy, 4 horned creature. The author of the post said it enjoys living in large wooded areas and has a particular taste for cheese.  
Since being with Zim, He’d only gone on a few hunts and they really didn’t lead anywhere. This will be a good way to get the current situation out of his mind. A distraction, he muses. He grabs his usual paranormal gear and shoves it in a bag.

Gaz is eating dinner when he makes his way to the main floor of the house.  
Walking in the kitchen he quickly reaches into the fridge grabbing a handful of kraft cheese slices and shoving them in his jacket pocket. He can feel Gaz giving him a small stare but it’s not like she hasn’t seen him eat 2-3 slices on their own and calling it dinner before.

He shuffles quickly to the front door. “I’m going on a hunt. I’ll see you in the morning.” He turns to get his boots on. He knows he’ll be trekking through a dense forest so it was no place for shoes. 

“Well I’m going to my girlfriends place after I eat so no I won’t.” Gaz takes a moment to think before talking again. “Have you spoken to him yet?” Dib didn't need to ask her to know what she was referring to.

“I just need to go clear my head.” He turns back to her. “I’ll talk to him. I promise.” 

“Good.” She tosses him a bread roll and enjoys seeing him fumble before managing to catch it. “Be safe.”

Dib can't help but laugh a little. “Ya ya ya. See you later.” He exits the house and hops in his old truck.

It felt good to be out again. Windows down and music loud, Dib feels free and exhilarated as he drives to the outskirts of town. 

The wooded area that was at the edge of town was dense and vast. On more than one occasion Dib got lost in them. Gaz never forgave him for dragging her out here when they were kids. They ended up getting lost for 2 days. The entire town was in a panic because two very young children had gone missing. Thankfully the most harm that came to them was Gaz beating Dib with a stick when she realised they wouldn't be home for dinner.

As he drives he feels his phone buzz. He doesn't feel like pulling over to check the text, so he keeps driving. When he feels it buzz a few more times in a row Dib can feel irritation start to rise but he lets it go. 

It’s when it starts to ring is when Dib gets pissed off. He yanks it out of his pant pocket and lobs it over his shoulder into his back seat without looking at the screen. Dib thinks if it was really that important whoever was calling will leave a voicemail. It rings a few more times but Dib just turns the stereo volume louder. 

The roads start to take a dramatic and noticeable shift from paved concrete to sharp small rocks to dirt and leaves. Dib continues to drive as he goes deeper in. He takes his truck as far as it can go, making sure to take his bag from the passenger seat before heading out into the dense brush. 

The forest was beautiful. While the city was loud with people everywhere, it was peaceful and quiet. No matter how far Dib looked, the trees surrounded him. He could hear the wildlife going about their evening as he crunched through the leaves. Time is different here. It might have been 6pm on the road, but here it was 8pm. The canopy above almost completely blocked out the light. Small streams leaked through like poked holes in the top of a jar. 

Dib has no idea where he was going and he honestly doesn’t care. He knows the forest was almost endless. That it expanded so far that despite being here so many times, it always seemed new. He knows he doesn't have a map.

Dib had read many stories referencing the Fae and their forest. One where time worked in weird ways, where all manor of creatures lived, one where you could never leave. Dib found himself wanting to stumble through one of their portals right now. To discover what lived there and what made them tick. But this forest is not connected to the Fae. He had checked...many times. So Dib pressed on. 

He does remember he should probably do some actual investigating. He rummages around his bag until he finds his camera. Snapping a few pictures he can already feel his heart isn't in it. But he tries. He told himself he wanted to catch that creature, but that was only a half truth. Needs to be away from all things he knew. Walking to the nearby park wasn't going to cut it. 

After roughly 2 hours of walking deep into the brush, Dib decides it’s time to have a little fun. “Oh man,” Dib spoke aloud. “Sure could do for a nice slice of CHEESE!” He made sure to yell a little at the end. 

Dib dramatically reaches into his pocket and presents a slice of cheese to his surroundings like he's a magician showing a card trick.

He unwraps the cheese and takes a massive bite. “MMMM Yum yum!” He practically yells into the forest. “Cheese sure is the best! Good thing I have a whoooole pocket full!” With that last declaration he waits and listens for a few minutes. 

When the forest stays quiet Dib can’t help laugh to himself. “Well, if anyone was watching, I hope you enjoyed that show.” He says into the trees as he finishes the cheese slice in his hand.

As Dib turns around to continue his walk, he hears a loud chitter from behind him. He whips around snapping a burst of pictures at whatever might be there. “GOT YA!” He exclaims and the creature rushes back into the safety of the leaves. He takes a moment to sit on a fallen log to check the pictures and- “Fuck.” Dib gives a defeated but expectant sigh as he sees nothing but a blur of fur and a tail. “I don't know what I expected. Looks like just a damn squirrel.” As he looks again he brightens the exposure.   
“That's a pretty damn big squirrel-” Dib is interrupted mid thought as he heard a guttural chittering growl. He looks up to where the “squirrel” had been and in its place, he sees a very large “small” creature clinging to a tree trunk. 

It’s 2 large beady eyes stare unblinking as the lips rose presenting 2 sets of gnarly teeth. Dib could see the 4 horns that it had on its head. And they pointed directly at Dib. 

“Shit.” Was all Dib can get out before the thing lunges at him. Scrambling to his feet he takes off as fast as he can. He can hear the creature snarl and nip at his heels as he runs full speed deeper into the woods. 

He had left the path long ago so branches scratch his face as he runs. Trying to shield himself with his arm as he goes.

He frantically takes pictures without looking. A few under his armpit, a few over his shoulder and head, and a selfie for good measure is all he gets before fearing he might trip. It takes him another 30 seconds of life or death sprinting that he remembers what the creature wants. And it wasn't particularly him.

As he continues to run, Dib reaches into his jacket and throws whatever cheese that was in his pocket in the opposite direction. He could hear it growl as the cheese flew behind him. Thankfully the harsh eating sounds got further and further away as he continued to run.

Dib runs until he feels safe enough to stop. Collapsing onto the nearest log panting and gasping as his lungs burn. He reaches in his bag. “I may be fucking stupid,” He says between breaths as he takes out his water bottle that he had made sure to pack. “But i'm not an idiot.” He chugs the entire thing finishing with a satisfied gasp. Dib regains his breath fairly fast as he goes to check his photos. Most, obviously, are worthless blurry messes. But Dib gives out a happy hum when 2 show the creature. 

Show was a bold word. More like you could see it’s long pointed horns, large eyes and teeth running at the camera in a blur. Dib has worked with far less before, so he knew this would be enough for Swollen Eyeball and the enthusiasts in the forums.

Dib lays on the ground covered in cold wet leaves for an unknown amount of time. His chest is still burning so Dib doesn’t really feel like getting up. He was exhausted but he also couldn't help but feel happy. It’s been so long since Dib has felt he has achieved something on his own. He feels exhilarated. He can’t believe that he’s actually thankful that the damn thing made him run for his life. He can feel himself start to laugh before it turns into a coughing fit. That run really did a number on his lungs. 

Finally pulling himself off the ground with a gunt he notices how dark it really was in the forest now. Shit what time is it, Dib thought as he went to feel for his phone. “FUCK!” Dib yells in frustration as he suddenly remembers he never retrieved his phone from the back seat of his truck. Looking around he starts to panic a bit. Blindly running deep into an endless forest at night with zero phone wasn’t the smartest thing he's ever done. Dib grumbles as he thinks of what to do. 

It shouldn’t be too cold, he thinks. It would be easy to find a place to curl up and sleep if it really came down to it. Wasn't his top choice of sleeping arrangements, but he also doesn't think he can trek the forest all night.   
He starts to walk again in a direction that he thinks might be the right way out. At least that's what he tells himself.

The forest is almost pitch black now and it’s becoming harder and harder for Dib to see. He has his flashlight on, but the black of the night swallows his light. The dark vastness of the forest is daunting. It feels like he's walking but getting nowhere, nothing seems familiar. He finds himself palming trees as he walks by. Tripping now and possibly hurting himself might be a death sentence. 

It's when he spots a large distinctly forked tree that a memory in Dib's brain lights up. He had only seen it once, but it left a lasting impression. The relief and confusion of seeing the familiar tree made Dib a run to it. “So if you’re here, then that means.” A smile breaks out onto his face. 

Dib had only found this spot when Gaz and him had gotten lost. He rushes past the forked tree to see a clearing. “Yes! AHA holy shit!” The small clearing led to a cliff overlooking the whole city. The night lights lit up everything so clearly. It was a breathtaking view. 

Suddenly Dib feels just how sore he is. His legs buckled underneath him as he fell onto the grass. Dib doesn't know what time it was, but he has been out walking (and running) in the woods for hours so it's no doubt late. 

He lets himself lay down in the grass and stare at the stars. “This would be a nice place to take Zim.” He says to himself. Sadness and guilt wash over him once again. And just when he thought his mind was free, he was back where he started. At least he was guilt ridden free for a few blissful hours. 

“If I had my phone,” Dib says to no one while he still lay watching the stars.”I would call you right now. I would tell you that I love you!” Dib shoots up into a sitting position facing the city below, “ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!” He shouts at the top of his lungs. “I LOVE YOU!!!” Face flushed from yelling he could feel himself feel better. It was almost like expressing himself was better then bottling his emotions up. “I wish you were here you stupid green idiot!”

Just then a very intense bright light blinds him. 

“THERE YOU ARE!” a shrill voice screeched. 

As the spot light dimmed Dib could see the Voot cruiser hovering several meters above the clearing. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere you idiot!’ Zim yelled as he jumped from the Voot landing in front of Dib. “I've been calling you for hours!”

Dib sat stunned. “Zim?!” He blinked a few more times before his mind could really register what was happening. 

“Care to explain?” Zim was accusatory as he gestured to the forest around them but there was a clear state of distress and concern on his face. 

“H-how did you even find me?” Dib blinked a couple times. Almost convinced that this was just an exhaustion hallucination. 

“The Dib-worm yelled just now and my excellent Voot picked up it’s frequency and was able to pinpoint you.” Zim’s hands were on his hips. “Now explain! You usually answer your phone, but there was nothing. Gaz said you were in the woods and that’s all she gave me!” He was clearly frustrated. 

Shock fades quickly from Dib as he grasps the situation. “Why do I even have to explain myself to you!?” Standing up he stares directly at Zim. Wait, why was he yelling? “Last time I checked you weren’t my keeper and I’m allowed to go wherever I want!” Didn’t he just yell to the sky that he loved Zim? Didn’t he wish so badly to see him? Didn't his wish come true?

Zim gave Dib a puzzled look. “This isn’t what this is about!” 

“Well it is now!” raises his voice to match Zim’s. “You can’t just demand my whereabouts whenever you please! Your stupid Irken brain might not understand that,” He can’t stop himself from arguing. Dib can feel himself want to stop, but he can’t. ”You can’t just control me!” Dib walks closer to Zim poking a finger into his chest. Dib was pissed. He wants to say nice sweet things, but only shouting leaves his mouth. All the sadness he had balled up was being redirected and Zim was right in it’s path.

“Do you even know what time it is!?” Zim yelled. “It’s 2am! Gaz said you left at 5pm! I didn't hear from you and couldn’t even get in contact with you!” Zim points to the Voot still hovering on auto pilot. “I thought you might have gotten injured and were unable to get home! I’ve been looking for hours Dib idiot!” 

Shocked to hear the time but still unable to stop, he screams again. “I went on a hunt! That’s all you should have had to know!” Dib can hear the crinkles in his lungs. “Why do you even care what happens to me?!”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DIB! WHY DO YOU THINK!” 

“What?” Was all Dib could say as he felt every last bit of anger fizzle out.

“I LOVE YOU!” Zim yelled again clearly angry. “YOU IGNORE ME FOR ALMOST 2 WEEKS AND THEN DISAPPEAR INTO THE WOODS WITH NO NOTICE. DID YOU REALLY THINK I WASN'T GOING TO WORRY?!” Zim’s face feels red hot as he screams. “YOU CAN’T JUST ABANDON ME!” 

Dib stares at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

Zim rubs his temple, voice much lower now, almost a whisper. “Did you really think I didn’t care.” 

"You never said anything before." Dib says with a slight annoyance in his voice. 

Zim huff at this. "I didn't think I had to!"

“So, should I take that as you are not breaking up with me?” Dib said cautiously.

“How is your head so big, and yet you do not have a brain up there.” Zim says point blank as folds his arms cocking an eyebrow. 

“Well, I don't know, you just seemed like-” Dib tried to form a coherent thought, but it was hard. “It’s just been 2 months and- I want to, but I never wanted to ask and I don’t know, maybe you don't actually like me. Zim I don't know-” He stops himself for a moment. “I’m sorry.” Dib says in a soft whisper. He can’t look Zim in the eye. “You just, you just never said anything and I thought maybe you didn’t and-” Dib suddenly feels a hard claw flick him in the forehead. “Ow! Hey!” 

Before Dib can do anything else Zim lets out a frustrated huff and brings Dib into a hug. “Does the great and mighty Zim really have explain it to you as if you are a smeet?” 

Dib takes a second to register that Zim was hugging him before he wraps his arms around him. “Yes. Yes actually please do.” 

“You, Dib-worm” He starts but stops. Zim is trying hard to pick his words. “Are you really going to make me spell this out for you?” 

Dib brought Zim closer to him, pressing his face into Zim’s shoulder. “I'm sorry for yelling. Please. I need to hear it”

“UGHHHH!” Zim cringes but he relents. “Dib you may be the most frustrating creature Zim has ever encountered. But I’d never trade you in for anything.” Zim pauses to kiss Dib on the cheek. “Even if it was to become leader of all Irkens.”

Dib lets out a chuckle. “Oooo okay now I know you are being serious.” 

“Are you done sniveling?!” Zim jokes. “Do you believe I love you?” He looks extremely embarrassed as he says this. 

Dib removes himself from the crook of Zim’s neck and wipes his nose. Dib was past being embarrassed at this point. “MMMMMMM kiss me and maybe I’ll believe you.” 

“You really are demanding aren't you.” A grin crawls across Zim’s face as he pulls Dib into a soft peck. It was soft and caring. He kisses lightly on Dib’s wind chapped lips. It’s like Zim is worried if he presses too hard Dib will crumble into dust and disappear. Dib realizes Zim is holding back so pushes into him, letting him know he's not going anywhere.

Zim must understand because they start to kiss deeper. Dib feels Zim grab his face. Claws dig sharp into his cheeks but Dib can’t find it in him to care. The kiss turns into desperation and pleading. It’s like Zim is trying to translate all the things he can’t say into the kiss. It’s saying not to leave him. Not to abandon him.

They stood there kissing for what felt like hours. Dib feels like he could float away and never come down. It’s when he starts to feel his legs turn to putty that he slips from Zim’s grasp.

Zim quickly scoops Dib into his arms in a bridal carry. Lifting Dib was almost effortless to Zim. “You really thought I would let you off so easy?” Zim says tracing his tongue over Dibs lips. 

Breathless and a bit shocked that he was now being held, Dib tries to speak. “Zim…” Dib finally says as he nestles his face into his shoulder. 

“Stop talking idiot.” Zim says. “Did I not say you belong to me?” Dib responds by burying his face deeper into Zim’s neck. “Zim calls you stupid but you really are the biggest idiot in the universe.” 

Putting his hands on Zim’s chest he pushes himself out of Zim’s grasp and looks at the alien who is sporting a cheeky smile. “Hey! It’s not entirely my fault! If I recall, you are also terrible at communicating.”

“This conversation isn't about Zim!” He says with a grin. “Now let’s get out of this damned wooden Labyrinth!” The pak legs shootout and they ascend into the Voot.   
“Wait! My truck!” Dib says. 

“Leave it Dib-Stink!” Zim receives a look from Dib as he places him down inside. “We will go get it tomorrow.” Zim says matter of factly as he sits down in the pilot chair.

Dib takes this as a good answer. “Okay good.” Sheepishly he looks at Zim. “Thanks for coming to pick me up.” Dib sits on the edge of the chair and rests his head on Zim’s shoulder. Zim leans into the touch as they head for the city.

\--

Zim makes sure to turn on the Voots cloaking device before landing in Dib’s backyard. It’s not like anyone would see it anyway, it was almost 3am by the time they got back.

As they approach the front door Dib decides to speak up. “Uh.” Dib balls his hands into a fist. “Did you want to stay the night at my place? Dad is out to a conference and Gaz is staying at her girlfriends place...” Dib stares at his boots. “Of course if you don't want to that's cool too!” He adds a little too quickly. 

Zim takes one of Dib’s balled fists and gives it a gentle kiss. Dib is going to take that as a yes. 

Dib barely manages to take his boots off as the two of them stumble into the house. Lips locked and hands everywhere. 

“Wait wait.” Dib manages to break away long enough to breathe. “Lets not, not as we walk up the stairs. With extreme boldness, Dib practically drags Zim to his room.

Dib couldn't help but kiss Zim again once the door to his room was closed. Before tonight they had not kissed for going on 2 weeks. But to Dib it felt like a lifetime. How could he ever think that someone who kisses him like this could be faking. 

As he recalls these miserable thoughts he pulls away briefly. He wants to take Zim in. He wants to look at him and never look away. Opening his eyes, he's faced with a look that he's never seen before on Zim’s face. It looked hungry, lustful. Like it wanted to tear Dib apart in the best way possible.

“Dib.” Zim says nipping softley at Dib’s lips. 

Zim doesn’t say anything else, Dib knows exactly what he wants. Walking over to the bed he removes his jacket that he just now realized he was still wearing. Before he can even think about removing any other clothes he feels a clawed hand shove his chest. Dib hit the surface of his unmade bed with a soft thud. Face beet red as Zim stands over him. 

Both stare in silence for a moment before Dib decides to be brave again. Shifting in the bed he takes hold of one of Zim’s hands. He peppers the long pointed fingers with gentle kisses. When he reaches the back of Zim’s hand he over turns it to kiss the palm. He flicks his eyes up to meet Zim’s as he takes a thumb into his mouth and bites down. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to leave teeth marks.   
Dib watches before going any further. As he waits, he can see the hunger in Zim’s eyes bubble and boil over spilling all around the room.   
Zim takes the thumb that's in Dib’s mouth and prys his jaw open. “Human teeth are so dull.” He teases as he playfully drags his thumb around the inside of Dib’s mouth. Dib clamps down again sucking on the thumb.

Zim removes his thumb to let Dib breathe. He was just about done with waiting. Zim gently pushes Dib on his back situating himself between his legs. Zim can’t help but bite at any and all visible skin. 

Dib lets out a soft breathy chuckle as he feels Zim go for his neck. “You really like doing that don’t you bud.” Zim responds by biting down. “Ah! Shit Zim.” Dib says sharply, inhaling at the sensation.

Once Zim was satisfied with his work on Dib’s neck, he made his way up his jaw. Kissing along the edge until he finds Dib’s ear. He takes a hand and flicks at the various black piercings that Dib has. “These suit you well.” Zim says this not expecting an answer. He knew Dib’s mind was full. Full of Zim and the thought of that excited him endlessly.

Dib reached over taking Zim’s face in his hands. Teeth clash awkwardly as they fumbled. But they soon found a rhythm. Sloppy kisses turned to deep hard declarations of want. Of needing to be closer. Zim was having a hard time containing his own arousal. He could feel that his member had left it’s sheath as it rubbed tight on his clothes.

Dib felt himself involuntarily grinding against Zim’s leg. Dib was a little shocked at his own brazen action. As he looks up he can tell that that small act of lust and want jump started something in Zim. Zim brought his hips closer to Dib’s crotch and ground hard against him. He let Dib feel how hard he already was. “Holy shit Zim!” Dib’s eyes grew wide as he looked down. Never in Dib’s life had he wanted something so bad.

Dib could feel himself turning to jelly as Zim spoke into his ear. “Dib…” Zim snakes his hand down and teases around Dib’s waistband. Embarrassed that he can't believe this is happening, Dib looks away and shuts his eyes tight.

Dib opens his eyes to see Zim looking for a go ahead before going any further. He gives Zim an extremely enthusiastic nod. His face turning to a bright red.

But Zim wasn't satisfied with this answer. “I want you to say it out loud.” 

Dib goes to cover his face with his hand. “Zim I said it was fine-”

Zim gently takes Dib’s hand away to reveal his eyes. “Say what you want me to do.” He doesn't break his gaze.

“I-” Dib feels like he's about to swallow a golf ball. “I want you to touch me Zim. I need you to touch me.” As he said this he felt his confidence and impatience grow. “Please.” Dib hips instinctually buck slightly. 

That was the last thing Dib could say before he felt Zim plunge his hand down his pants.

He let out an audible gasp as Zim’s bare hand rubbed against him. It was far better than Dib had ever imagined in his dreams. Despite Zims hands being smaller than his, his fingers were wide and long. Zim seemed very mindful of the sharpness that came with his claws. 

Zim gently slid his fingers over top of Dib’s entrance. It was warm, wet and hot. He mused over the feeling. 

He took his 2 fingers and gently dragged his claws across either side, teasing Dib endlessly.   
Dib can feel himself growing painfully hard at the touch. Zim used his thumb to run gently over Dib’s small cock. There was friction but it wasn't enough. Dib felt himself lifting his hips to chase after Zim's hand. “Tsk tsk.” Zim smirks as he takes his free hand to grip Dib's hip and pin him to the bed. “No.”

He revels in seeing Dib squirm under him. Seeing him ache for more contact, desperate for Zim to touch him. To satisfy him the way only Zim can.  
"Zim I swear to god, if you don't take my pants off right now." Din whines as he tries to free his hips to no avail. 

"Such impatience." Zim says as he removes his hand. “If you want what I have for you, you’ll have to be a good boy.” The blush on Dib’s face reaches a new shade of red. 

Shifting slightly he removes Dib's pants and underwear in one fast movement.   
Dib was embarrassed at suddenly being so exposed. Instinctually he wanted to cover up, but he knew he was safe with Zim. He knew he could trust him with this. 

It wasn't long before Dib felt teeth on his inner thigh. He felt Zim trail his teeth and tongue down his skin getting closer and closer. Electrically was the only thing Dib could compare the feeling of Zim dragging his tongue over his entrance to. Tasting Zim’s tongue when they kissed was one thing, but feeling it slip inside him was another. Zim worked his way in gently and with care. Testing the waters before picking up speed and truly exploring all of Dib. Zim couldn't get enough. Zim was selfish and greedy by nature, and in this moment he all he wanted was all of Dib in every way possible. He needed Dib all to himself. 

The sensation was about to bring him over the edge. Clenching down on the tongue as Zim stayed inside. Dib clenches his fist into his sheets as he rides out his orgasm. Zim’s hands still firmly grasping his hips holding him down.

Dib was trembling when Zim took his tongue out only to replace it with fingers. 

“Zim.” Dib reaches over to grab Zim’s wrist. “I need you to-” He cuts himself off.

“What do you need Dib?” 

“I need you to fuck me right this second and I need you to fuck me hard.” Dib said almost pleadingly.  
“Are you sure you know what you are asking for Dib?” Zim asks as he removes his fingers. 

Dib moans at the loss of touch. He grips Zim’s wrist tight. “I know what I want and I don’t want you to hold back.” He stared Zim right in the eyes.

“Alright then.” Zim said as he finally shucked off his own clothes fully revealing himself. 

It was like nothing Dib has even seen before. It was large, tapered and tentacle-like. It was even segmented like Zim’s tongue. Dib could see it dripping with pre-cum. He felt like his heart was going to explode with anticipation. 

Zim grabs Dib’s shoulders and flips him over. It was rough and harsh, but in the best way. Dib’s face was on fire and he was almost glad Zim couldn't see it.

Zim hoisted Dib’s hips up so his knees were on the bed. Dib could feel Zim exploring his back with his claws. 

“You know Dib,” He said as he racked a claw down his spine. “This is all mine. All of you, all of this is mine.” He could feel Dib tremble with excitement as he said this. He firmly held onto Dib’s hip bringing him close.

Zim rubbed himself between Dib’s slick folds but did not enter. “Who do you belong to?” 

“You-” Dib barely managed to get out as he buried his face in the sheets. 

Zim reaches over grabbing Dib’s hair pulling back pulling his face from the sheets. “Zim can’t hear you.” 

“You!” Dib cries out. “I belong to you!” 

And not a second later Dib feels all the breath leave his body when Zim slammed inside of him. “Zim! Fuck” was all he could manage as he felt all of Zim inside of him. Dib was gasping for air. 

Zim stayed unmoving inside of Dib for a moment. “You will regret avoiding me, human.” He teases. Zim’s hand moved from Dib’s hair to the base of his neck, he kept a tight grip. Without mercy Zim pulls his hips back before snapping them back into Dib. He start to fuck into him relentlessly and without mercy. 

Dib can’t hold back his voice as Zim pounds into him. “Ziiimm FUCK!” He moans out as the pleasure takes him to new heights.

He can't think of anything except for Zim, and he doesn't want to think of anything else. His eyes roll back in his head as he feels himself coming again.   
Zim leans over Dib’s back. “Dib.” He growls. His rhythm gets faster as Zim feels himself coming inside of Dib. The fullness Dib felt made him cry out.   
Dib’s knees give out as Zim thrusts in aggressively a few more times. They collapse on top of each other panting.   
Zim pulls out of Dib leaving a trail of mess in its wake. Dib lay out of breath still face down onto the bed.   
“Let me get a towel,” Zim says as he starts to rise from the bed.

“Nooo.” Dib whines as he grabs for Zim and brings him into an embrace. “Don’t go anywhere.” He mumbles as he brings Zim in for a kiss. It’s sloppy with zero grace, but Dib doesn't care. 

-

As they lay in bed, Zim has his eyes closed but Dib knows he’s not sleeping. "Zim?" 

"Mm yes?" Zim's eyes flutter opened to look at Dib.

"I'm sorry." 

"For what Dib stink." Zim was a bit amused at this.

"For thinking you didn't care- that this," Dib makes a hand gesture in the air. "Wasn't real. And not talking to you about it. I ran away and that wasn't fair." 

Zim rolls over on his side to face Dib. He takes a hand and places it on his cheek. "Dib," Zim then proceeds to reach over and pinch Dib's nose.

"Ow!!" Dib cries. It didn't actually hurt, he was just being dramatic.

"I knew something was off."

Dib swats Zim's hand away but it finds it's place back on his cheek. "You did?" 

"Yes stinky! I know you better than you think. I could tell you were not you." His tone shifts to a sad one. "If it wasn't something you could talk about with Zim, I thought it best to let you come back when you were ready. I worried if I pushed you would get further away from me."

Dib felt Zim lightly brush his cheek with his thumb.

The soft brush turns into a pinch. "ALTHOUGH YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO WORRY. STUPID HUMAN HAVING DUMB THOUGHTS THAT HE SHOULDN'T!" 

"Hey hey hey stop that!" Dib giggles as he takes Zim’s hand in his. "I'm sorry. Could you ever forgive me Zim?" he said, giving a fake pouty apologetic lip. 

"HMMMMMM!!" Zim thinks hard. "Give Zim a promise that you will never have foolish thoughts of us breaking up EVER AGAIN." Zim pauses. "And a kiss." He adds on rather sheepishly. 

Dib inches closer. "Easy enough." He peppers light kisses on Zim’s face before settling on his lips. 

They stay locked in embrace the rest of the night.

When the light of early afternoon shone through the window, Dib had a hard time getting out of bed. He feels sticky and sore.He practically has to pry Zim's arm off from around his waist. 

He rummaged through a drawer for a clean pair of underwear before leaving the room still half asleep.

He stumbles to the bathroom he can feel an ache in his back. "I know I told Zim not to hold out but holy shit-" he says to no one in particular.

What Dib wasn't prepared for was looking at himself in the mirror "HOLY SHIT!!" He yells in surprise as he takes in the true state of himself.

Dark red and purple hickies litter his entire torso and neck. Some were accompanied by several bite marks. It looked like someone stuck 100 angry red flower petals to his skin. Dib felt himself laugh as he continued to examine the "damage". He touched the ones that line his neck with soft fondness. He has claw marks all over his back and legs. Zim really did a number on him. He didn't dare check to see the hickies that he was certain he had hiding under his underwear.  
Every fantasy he had over the years was nowhere near close to what had occured last night.   
His face started to match their colour as he remembers Zim making the marks. Dib suddenly remembers he’s covered in dried cum and jumps in the shower.


	3. epilogue

“Why did you have to park your dumb truck so stupidly far?!” Zim says as he pushes branches out of his way. Dib and Zim currently walked along a dirt road in the direction of where Dib’s truck was. Or at least Dib hoped this was the right direction.   
“You didn't have to come with me you know.” The Voot hadn’t been able to land near the truck due to the density of the trees. So Zim had to park it back by the main concrete road. Which meant they had to walk for about 30 minutes. “I told you to just drop me off.” Dib says, giving a shrug.

“If I left you alone I’m sure you would have done something stupid!” Zim says in a huff. “Also I,” He reaches over to grab Dib’s hand. “Zim just wants to be with you.” 

“AW how absolutely mushy and gross of you Zim.” Dib says in a clearly joking manner as he squeezes Zim’s hand.   
Blush erupts on Zim's face as he rips his hand away from Dib’s “SHUT UP STINKY!” He walks off ahead at a fast pace. 

“Wait come back!” Dib laughs as he catches up to Zim and takes his hand. “I’m kidding. You know I'm kidding.” 

Zim huffs. “Let’s find your stupid truck already.”

-

Dib is relieved to see it in one piece. Leaves had fallen onto the hood and into the bed of the truck but it’s exactly how he left it. He was a bit worried leaving it unattended for so long. If It had been broken into or damaged in any way, Dib absolutely did not have the funds to repair it. 

He excitedly unlocks the driver's side door and hops in. “Ahh just as musty and cluttered as I left you.” Dib says to himself. The word phone flashes in Dib head and he almost throws himself into the back seat. With all the events that happened yesterday Dib had completely forgotten about it. As he goes to turn it on he hears the passenger side door jiggle. Glancing up he can see Zim waiting to be let in. Before he can unlock the door, his eyes begin to read the messages on this phone. 

All of them were from Zim. There had to be about 100 texts and almost as many missed calls. 

“Oh my god.”Dib says aloud as he scrolls through the sheer amount of them. Earlier ones read the usual where are you’s, but as he goes on they get frantic and panicked. One that stopped Dib in the middle of his scrolling read ‘Did I do something wrong?’ 

“Dib-beast let me in!” Zim yelled from outside the truck. Snapping out of it, Dib reaches over to slap the lock on the door. The door flies open and the green alien jumps in. “What took you so long? Couldn't be that hard to operate this primitive vehicle.” 

“Sorry.” Dib says, but he’s not apologizing for the locked door.  
Zim looks down to see Dib holding his phone. He lets out a sigh. “That is all in the past. It doesn't matter anymore.” Zim says with certainty in his voice.

Dib looks down at the phone for a moment before turning it off and shoving it into his pocket.   
“Okay.” He says with a smile. 

Before Dib starts the truck he pulls on Zim’s arm to bring him close. He presses a kiss to Zim’s cheek. “I love you.” 

Zim gives Dib a smile. “I know.”

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed this please leave a kudos and or a comment!


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